Richman, Marsha and O'Donnell, Katie.
The Shikse's Guide to Jewish
Men, Bantam Books, Toronto, New York, London, 1979
This book is stuffed, from cover to cover, with text like the following,
deemed "antisemitic" stereotypes without at least a Jewish co-author:
FOREWARD page: "Throughout recent history, the sexual heroes have been the
Clark Gables, Humphrey Bogarts, Gregory Pecks, Robert Redfords. Now, today,
the Elliot Goulds, George Segals, Dustin Hoffmans herald the beginning of
a new super sex star: the Jewish man. He is in. He is here and he is now.
Can a girl from another world meet and fall in love with and marry him?
The answer is absolutely maybe.
[Next page; after Forward]: " ... To a Jewish man, the shikse is: desirable
because she is non-Jewish. Inferior because she is non-Jewish. Wonderful
because she is non-Jewish. Forbidden because she is wonderful. Wonderful
because she is forbidden."
p. 12-14, "THE JEWISH CON MAN. He's just good-looking enough. He went a
a name-drop school or two. He's had a name-drop position or two. He moves
from position to position, group to group. His only constant attachments
are to this mother and his children. He leaves a trail of people behind
him who wonder why they didn't see the too many finely tailored shirts,
the monograms. Later, you remember he was: a subtle name dropper. A whit
too polished (his shoes, his nails, etc.). He borrows the heritage of his
married-into family, their friends, their places, their clubs. He plays
tennis with name pros like Pancho Gonzales. He collects actors just out
of vogue, first editions, antiques, and a sprinkling of just credible folks
for whom he has performed some minor service. All of his speeding tickets
are fixed. He fixes theater tickets to sold-out shows on a moment's notice.
He has a cover-up for everything from larcenty to misedemeanors. He personally
knows members of the Mafia."
p. 39-40, THE JEWISH MAN IN THE BATHROOM. The door to his bathroom is always
closed, even when he's not in there. He will lock the door when he is in
there. If you should burst in, he will valiantly try to look like he's doing
something else. He folds, never crumples, the paper. In his medicince chest
you will find prescriptions to cover everything from hives to a slipped
disc. The Jewish art of toilet training is accomplished with a lot of guilt;
if he doesn't do the right thing in the right place, his mother might kill
him, or herself or both. When he comes out of the bathroom you will see
a great feeling of satisfaction on his face. You might be mistaken, but
it often looks like he expects you to praise him for what he's done."
p. 52, THE JEWISH ORGASM - HERS. A great gift. Her mother never had one.
Her father might have but not in the presense of her mother. The ones she
read about in novels were not Jewish. She has one when she gets older, divorced,
or liberated. It gets noisier when she gets older, divorced, or liberated.
She secretly fears she could lose it.
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